ill.

I don't feel good.

I've been exercising lately, which has me actually feeling amazing. Tonight, being Wednesday, which is kind of my Friday since I've got tomorrow off, I decided to skip the mile or so run and other various basement exercises. I had planned on grilling out enormous cheeseburgers on the grill and enjoying a couple cocktails before ideally cashing in early so that I could wake up with the sun and start my drive to the mountains. Thus far, I have followed suit.

After I polished off the second cheeseburger, each weighing close to a pound, I poured an after dinner vodka tonic and kicked my feet up on the patio table. I continued to digest for about an hour or so, then suddenly got antsy. The drinks weren't tasting good anymore. I immediately felt sluggish and ill, which is far cry from how I normally feel after ingesting two pounds of red meat and clear alcohol. So I took a walk.

I probably walked a couple miles. It felt good. I felt as though I walked off at least a portion of my glutenous meal. The sky was beautiful. The air was crisp.
I had bats fluttering overhead and rabbits darting away from me and into people's yards. It was a very pleasant, evening stroll.

I got home and still didn't feel all that great. Thought that maybe I'd just go to bed early and wake up refreshed.

Then I ran to the bathroom and shit water.

The End.

the aftermath.

The Rock Out aftermath isn't as bad as it's been before. CD's and beer bottles laying everywhere, my head hurts a little, and I'm too tired to make breakfast. Other than that, no harm done.

I apologize if my immaturity offended anyone.

Coffee tastes amazing this morning.

I suppose I should do something productive now. Unless I can figure out a way to make the Rock Out last all weekend...

Ah, we'll save that for my bachelor party in a couple weeks.

I should probably hit the river now.

rock out.

Wow. I'm in the midst of rocking out. Rocking out is when April goes out of town, and I commence to gettin' all my old cd's out. Vodka tonics, beer and other goodies are usually the fuel for the rock out.

Right now, I'm not quite to full rock out mode...obviously, seeing as how I took time to write about it. I kinda wanted to capture the moment though, you know?

But right now we've got an old 90's punk band called Trusty covering Generation X's "Ready, Steady, Go", which is proving to be an admirable tribute. The original is a classic, and this unknown band (even to me) is tearing it up.

We've already hit a little Swingin' Utters, Fishbone, and Backyard Babies. We're just getting warmed up, it being only 10:20pm. And I'm only on drink numeral three. And just how things got started, with The New Bomb Turks, we shall play yet another tune from them. Here goes.........wow, it's like the Stones and Iggy had a love child.

Tell you what...I'll keep updating this blog until I physically can't anymore. Then I'll post it without proof reading it. Woo hoo! Saturday night!

Bad Religion's "We're Gonna Die For Our Own Arrogance" by Sublime is a masterpiece as far as covers go. And it's on.

20 minutes later NOFX is covering a Rancid song and I'm starving. I am going to eat a block of swiss cheese.

Ahh Rancid. That's a good idea.

Normally when I rock out, I start out with old punk, switch it around with some rock like Motorhead or AC/DC, then start mellowing out the drunker I get. The night generally peaks with the Stones, then starts mellowing from there. Let's see if I follow suit.

A little garage punk by The Devil Dogs is delightful. But either I'm not drunk enough or the right song hasn't hit yet. I'm not up singing and dancing yet. Don't worry, we'll get there.

Man, I'm definitely into covers tonight. Dropkick Murphy's covering CCR's "Fortune Son" is one I always forget about. Holy shit, it's as good as always is. Followed by "21 Guitar Salute" which is has got me on my feet.

Yea, I read that last paragraph, but I'm not going to change it. That was the promise. Mmm, swiss cheese.

Ok, Motorhead's album, "The Birthday Party" is on now. If I'm not mistaken, it's got the best live version of "Bomber" ever. Let's see, shall we? Ooh, gotta listen to "The Hammer" first! That's mine and Vinnie's drinkin' song! Even invented a shot called the Hammer. Disgusting.

"The Birthday Party" just seems a ton faster than "No Sleep Til Hammersmith" or "Everything Louder Than Everyone Else" or any of the other 23 Motorhead CD's I've got laying around. "Ace of Spades" is definitely faster. That's what we're listening to now.

Ok, "Bomber" is one of the last songs...so we're listening to every other song until we get there. I forgot how great of a live album this is. "Overkill" is coming up soon I think.

HERE'S "BOMBER"! Wow, fast. And tremendous. Almost sounds like Marky Ramone's drumming...16th's on the high hat! AAAAAHHH!! It's skipping!!!!!!! Let's see if a good old tongue bath does the trick.......so far.......................so.......good. Cool.

I need to switch to the iPod soon. Better sound, and I can rock the head phones.

God, why am I listening to Buckcherry? Actually saw them in concert...true story. They opened for Motorhead a few years back. They opened the show with the lead singer yelling, "Drink Beer! Fuck Bitches!" Honest to God. It was fantastic. Oooh, Wolfmother's on now. Gotta love mystery compilation CD's!

Time to reload.....me, not the CD.

Ok, this is what I've been needing to hear...The Faces!

Still on compilation CD's. Gotta skip the Allman's and go straight to Queen. Allman's are for later. "Stone Cold Crazy" is for now.

Queen on tv speakers vs. Queen on headphones: Queen on headphones is the big winner.

It's iPod now. Is the P capitalized? And is "s" in swiss cheese capitalized? I was wondering that earlier. Oh man, the Cult's on! COMPILATION CD!!

Van Halen's on and my shirt's off. fuckin' a. Coincendentally, "Everybody Wants Some" is the song. Coincidence, or destiny?

Uh oh, AC/DC's on. And you know what that leads to?....yep, 80's metal...and me losing my voice in 7 minutes. What if Brian Johnson from AC/DC always talked like that? " I'd like a Quater Pounder with Cheese, large fry, and a Cooooke!!! Ooooh Yeeaaa!!!!"

Is my grammar still ok? Probably not.

"Back in Black" is fantastic. Even if you don't like Big Dumb Rock; even if you're "too smart" for AC/DC; even if you don't drink. Actually, it's probably worthless if you don't drink. People that don't drink I now hate for TWO reasons.

"Givin' the Dog a Bone". Hmph. If you don't like this song, you are gay.

I'm gonna listen to it again.

I've got a great idea...Black Betty. I celebrate Ram Jam's entire catalog. "Black Betty" is one song that I'm sure I would own at the karoke bar. One of these days...one of these days. Ogden Street South, you're fucked!

Compilation CD's are called Playlists nowadays. That's what we've got right now. To be specific, it's ACTION LIST. We're on "Could This Be Magic?" by the Halen, with "Country Honk" by the Stones coming up, if I'm not mistaken. Don't worry people that aren't reading this, the Playlist gets faster. In fact, I believe KISS is in our future. Yea, KISS.

I've had several drinks.

KISS is on now! I don't like KISS! But I do like "Shout It Out Loud"! Saw 'em live a few times...this song usually required lot's of pyrotechnics, which always makes things better. Unless you're at a Great White concert. Oooooh.

Compila...er....playlist I mean, song up is Jet. Not the song, but the band. The song is "Get Me Outta Here", which holds a warm spot in my fucking heart. I walked out of a suit job as Technical Support Technician/Sales Coordinator/Bitch/Zombie/Homo at a stainless steel fittings manufacturer and distributor and listened to that tune on my way home. It still makes me smile.

Leon Redbone? Ok, it's working. If you don't like any of these artists that I'm listening to, you are gay...except for buckcherry.

If anyone in the universe ever reads this, please remembe one thing: You have to listen to and like a band called Devil in a Woodpile. If you don't, you will die a miserable piece of poo.

Aerosmith? Yea, so what? "Done With Mirrors" and "Toys In The Attic", not that asteroid movie soundtrack shit.

And now ZZ Top. 70's Top.. And early 80's Top...pre-MTV. I'd like to see those old bastards in concert this year. I bet their balls stink, though.

Ok, more Faces. Shit, left that cheese laying out. Too lazy to go get it. Shit, out of beer. Guess I'll kill 2 fuckers with one deal. cheese and beer for everyone!

Winding down. Doobie's are on now. I imagine the Allman's and Stones will follow. Then I'll start realizing how happy and numb I've become and start grinning real big.

Stumbling through campfire music. Old country, old allman's, old stones. ill find the right one.

It's time for "Can't You Hear Me Knocking". I hate you if don't like this song. It's almost two songs, actually. The first half is masterful. Amazing. Perfect. The second half is good, but it's a hippie-fest. The 1st part=spectacular, The 2nd part=mediocre hippie jam-fest. Hmmm.

I don't stay up until 1:30 too often, if I don't have to. I enjoy sleep too much. I get my drinking done early. It's 1:30 now, and I'm drunk. I am listening to a tremendous song. But it's time for the Allman's. I will put them on, and then I will fall asleep. I will awake at 3:24am and lumber upstairs. Then, I will fall into the most comfortable, deepest sleep a man can fall in to. I will then awake again, only to make a delicious cup of coffee, eggs over medium, and cheap bacon.

We will listen to jazz in eight hours.

C'mon Allman's.

Note: I did not watch or listen to my old band, 40 Horse Johnson tonight. Just so you know.

The Allman's remind me of meandering. I love meandering. Trapsing. Wandering. Rambling. "Ain't Wastin' Time No More" is one of my favorite songs. It is what made me move to Colorado.

Bob Marley. The Rock Out is over. Time to close my eyes and inhale a little more life.

It was a successful rock out. but now it segways into a relaxing, deeper moment. I am numb and smiling. I am happy with most everything.

I feel great, but now is when I start thinking deeply and plane out from the rock. I listen to songs like "Redemtion Song" and think heavily.

With no proofreading....I will now click PUBLISH and close my eyes. It's been a good time Saturday night. woo.

Not just Saturday Morning.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_XeFdntr388

Please watch this, and laugh.

I'm not going to classify it as the best cartoon ever, but it's up there. I think in order for a cartoon to be "the best ever", it has to star characters that you are more familiar with...Daffy Duck, Yosemite Sam, Bugs Bunny, Droopy. But man, Tex Avery sure could write a hilarious cartoon.

The first time I saw "Billy Boy" I was in grade school at the summer dollar movies. Couldn't tell you what movie I was there for...maybe "Benji" or "The Wiz"...but I do remember this cartoon was shown before the movie started. And the stuttering! I thought the film had a glitch in it or something, but then shortly realized that it wasn't a glitch, just comedy. Pure comedy.

I don't watch new cartoons all that often anymore. I'm too old and opionated. Thank God for Tex Avery and thank God for YouTube.

"C'mon son. I'll fetch y'all a jug of moo cow milk, milk, milk, milk, milk............."

Happiness.

People, or at least I, tend to take wonderful things for granted. I don't appreciate the good things like I should. I have an amazing almost-wife, I live in a nice, new house, I drive an extremely fancy Nissan, and despite my last post...a good job. My life is so good actually, that I start to feel guilty from time to time. Maybe that's why I don't dwell on how good I have it. I know in the back of my head how good it is, but don't want to be constantly thankful in order not to have karma lash out at me.

So what's one to do to stay positive throughout the day, throughout the week?

It's the little things, my friend. For instance, coffee and jazz. If I did not have coffee and jazz every morning, I would lead a miserable existence. And to one up this glorious combo...if I were to purchase a breakfast burrito from Santiago's on my way to the shop, it would then take a catastrophe to ruin my day. That is, as long as it's not on Mondays or Wednesdays. Monday is Ham Day and Wednesday is Bacon Day. It's not that I'm angry with ham or bacon. It's quite the opposite, actually. The thing is, I have to pace myself with these happy burritos, and if I were not to limit myself, I would overdose and therefore lose something wonderful that makes me incredibly happy. So, despite the fact that I indeed do love the magical meat of the pig in the form of ham and bacon, I have to visit Santiago's on the days when German Sausage, Chorizo, or Breakfast Sausage is being served. Different day, different meat. That's part of the beauty of Santiago's. Don't get me wrong, ham is tasty. But compared to all other breakfast meats, it falls short. Hence my reasoning for skipping Mondays. Now bacon, that's another story. It is most definitely one of my favorite breakfast meats. But in a Santiago's breakfast burrito, they are quite generous with the green chili, and that tends to make the bacon inside the burrito soggy and chewy. Although still delicious, I had to skip Wednesdays in order not to overdo it on a weekly basis. You know they're good when you have to skip Bacon Day. So any other day and on weekends (the meat of the day is chef's choice Sat & Sun) I have an excellent chance of getting the best breakfast burrito the world has ever seen.

So, waking up with some coffee, some jazz, and knowing that the $2 bill in my pocket will soon turn into a magical mixture of eggs, potatoes, green chili, and the meat of the day...that is how you stay happy throughout the day.

It's the little things, my friend.

My Employer

My company, The North Face, is commonly thought of as the laughing stock of the outdoor industry. For people "in the know", TNF is the evil empire. The ones who sold out. The company who no longer celebrates its heritage and craftsmanship, but who relies on that logo to sell sub-par products to teenagers at Nordstroms who have never stepped foot outdoors other than to walk to their car in order to drive to the mall.



It worked. They (we) are huge. TNF is everywhere, even more so than their not-quite-as-trendy competition Columbia. Bass Pro Shops, Dick's, Nordstrom's, Macy's, REI, Cabela's...the list goes on. Ridiculously saturated if you ask me.



As a product, I honestly don't have too much of a problem with them. Apart from their colors sucking from time to time, their shoes being awful, and their t-shirts choking the life out of you, I can deal with the product. As a brand, that's where the problem lies.



I have sold TNF for a few years now, and have gotten negative impressions about the brand just by word of mouth, dolt representatives half-assing it, and some poor quality in product here and there. But not until I went to work for them have I found out where my problem truly is.



Keep in mind that I've only worked for the Evil Empire for 7 months. But in this time I've come to realize that the people that work for The North Face do not go outside. I'm talking about upper management and our marketing company. The people, such as myself, that toil in the trenches everyday to keep these boutique stores up and running are not at fault in the least. Hell, if you want to get technical, I suppose I'm a bit of a bullshitter since I live in Colorado and do not ski. But that's not the point. The point is, that when you have a company with the brand awareness, the history, and the technology as The North Face, you have to change the way your customer base perceives you. Or in this case, change back to the way you were.

In my store, I have a large fly fishing customer base. We have an Orvis store and a Filson store in the neighborhood, so it makes sense. Naturally, me being a fly fisherman, I have tried to cater to that particular type of customer. For one effort, I set up a fly fishing display in our front window. I get the word from corporate that fly fishing is not "hard core" enough and to take it down. Now, I'm not mad that someone doesn't think my sport is "hard core". That's just an ignorant statement by someone who does not venture outdoors in the least. The point of my gripe is that my employer one: Is not embracing their heritage (Doug Tomlinson, founder of The North Face, started the company while venturing outdoors with Yvonn Chouinard, founder of Patagonia, and Royal Robbins, founder of Royal Robbins on mountaineering trips, kayaking trips, fly fishing trips, ski trips, and climbing trips in California), two: Not supporting a like-minded sport and potential new customer, three: Not catering to this particular store's particular region, and four: A fresh, new display surly can't hurt, all it can do is help.

I could go on with my stewing. Here's one...we (they) decide it's ok to cater to the rich housewife and the pseudo-gansta, but branching out to fly fishing is right out! And another...why waste a piece of your relationship with GORE by not developing waders? And yet another...all it takes to start out is some inexpensive marketing. A couple photos of fly fishermen in the store and on the website and boom, you have a new customer buying existing products.

But no, it's not hard core enough. Makes fucking sense to me (he writes sarcastically).

Yes, I have had a bad day at work.