80's Video for the Week

You know, this will put me in good mood before I go to bed. A wicked 80's video. And I think that I'm going to stray away from the metal, and lean more towards...whatever Loverboy is.

Yes, it's "Hot Girls in Love" by Loverboy. An abstract journey into the minds of the bandanna wearing, red leather-clad, keyboard heavy, party rockers of 1983. This video features a desert of gas pumps, the band rocking out on a stack of "Nitro" barrels, and the "Hot Girl in Love" driving an old car to nowhere throughout the video. Deep.

A fun song and a hilarious video. Enjoy.

random ramblin's

First off, I have to say that I'm serious about my last post. I'm actually really looking forward to it. Hopefully I'll get rid of my love handles, beer gut, and man boobs.

I do need to purchase a few things in order to make this experiment a little more comfortable, though. For instance, bike shorts. Not to hang out at the mall in, but to wear under my regular shorts. I obviously need the padded butt kind, otherwise it just doesn't make any sense. If I have those, I can ride my bike muuuch longer, since my ass and taint won't be in excruciating pain.

Also, I'll need gloves or something so I can do pull-ups on the I-beam in the basement. Freaking Rocky Balboa style. Or I may be able to cushion the hell out of it with duct tape or something.

Other than a hang board or some cheap used weights, I think I'm good.

I have to admit, I haven't done shit leading up to this event. Right now I'm sitting on the couch typing (obviously) and drinking beer. I fucked my leg up the other day, so I can't run. Even if that wouldn't have happened, I probably wouldn't have ran anyway. But I haven't done any sit-ups, push-ups, pull-ups or anything. I've even been eating like shit. Fried rice today. That's healthy. I'll get to it...and when the calendar turns to September 1st, I'm busting my ass.

I got a dog today. His name is Cliff. He's a pretty good little dog...so far. I'm sure after he eats my flip flops I'll think differently. I'm curious to see how April and I raise a dog together. She is all about classes and training. And I suppose I'm more the trial and error type. I like puppies to be puppies, but I'm sure the training will be well worth our time and money. Especially if it saves me a pair of shoes.

I'm totally sick of people. When you work in retail, I think it gets to you more. Anyone can walk into my store, anyone. Crazies, assholes, douche bags, dipshits. And unfortunately when I get like this, it rubs off on everyone else. It just becomes difficult to act like I give a fuck about what anyone says or does. Sounds terrible, but I get tired of being nice all the time. So I just kind of distance myself for a little while instead of trying to power through it and act like I'm in a good mood, because I can't. I'm accused of being an asshole regardless, so I figure I might as well be the antisocial asshole rather than the smartass dickhead asshole. It's a fairly short-lived phase, so hopefully it will pass soon.

I'm going to go upstairs now. I need to coat my legs in Calamine Lotion, take some ibuprofen for my jacked up ankle, and watch Stripes. Then wake up on a Sunday so I can go to work and deal with dipshits. Hopefully the phase will end tomorrow.

Goodnight America.

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Training For Nothing

Ok, pay attention. What I am about say is going to make you first say, "Whatthefuckever, Matt". But please hear me out and hopefully you will understand why I am so excited about this.

Instead of prefacing this with "why's" and what not, I'm just going to blurt it out, and then we'll go from there.

I am going to take one month and see how ridiculously in shape I can become.

Smartly, of course. Not by the latest diets, or overworking and shocking my decrepit old body, but by exercising relentlessly and eating right.

Ok, now for the "why's".

Because I want to feel what it's like again to be "in shape". And by "in shape", I don't mean a jog here and some sit-up's there. I want to see just how addicted my body gets to exercise and eating healthy.

I absolutely love red meat. I love to drink beer, scotch, and vodka tonics. I love relaxing on the porch and watching Cardinals games. But...I also love to hike. I love paddling. And I love rock climbing. But these later activities have fallen off the radar. I need to find more balance.

I want to feel what it's like to be in "climbing shape" again. I don't want anything to hold me back if I choose to hike a 14er or start kayaking again.

Also, I'm old. But I don't want to feel old. If I ever have kids, I want to be able to play with them in the mountains and the rivers. And if I don't have kids, I still want to be able to play in the mountains and rivers with my wife, family, and friends.

And I have chosen to go all in.

This is quite unlike me, but I am tired of letting the more lethargic side of me take over. And I think this experiment will carry on after it is over. Hopefully it will instill some better habits so I am not constantly struggling with the up's and down's of being healthy. And perhaps it will help me overcome some of my stubbornness about how I currently live.

It will be a very interesting experiment. It is going to test my mental strength, my commitment, and my focus. It will prove to me that I can actually do instead of just discuss.

And it's going to be extremely difficult. It will be difficult because of all the former activities discussed above. And because during this time frame, I will be going to at least a couple of baseball games, possibly a beer fest, and some concerts. None of which promote healthy living. So it will obviously take some adjusting, which will help with this whole "balance" thing I'm going for.

The parameters:

* I do it my way. Because I do not like to exercise, I have to be creative. I have to trick my body into thinking it's having fun. I don't do gyms, or classes, or diets. I just don't. To me, they are miserable and expensive. Achieving this goal can be done without these things.

* The time frame is from September 1st to October 1st.

* There is not a weight goal, although I will weigh myself to measure progress. It's not about just losing weight, it's about getting in shape. Using muscles that have been forgotten. Replacing red meat, caffeine, and alcohol with vegetables, vitamins, and other things that are good. Whether I am successful or not is up to me. If I feel that I have done everything I can to accomplish this goal of becoming more fit in a safe, sane way, then I win. If I fall off the wagon, I'll be the first to admit that I suck.

* Just so you know, I am going to ease my way up to it. Get my body used to what is going to happen to it. I think that's better than gorging myself up to the moment of truth. So a jog here and some sit-up's there will be in the forecast until September 1st.

* I will document my progress. If I feel that I am doing well, please don't take it as narcissism.

* And finally, if anyone would like to join me, please feel free (not physically - mentally and electronically). I would definitely welcome and exchange the motivation and encouragement. Just don't tell me what to do and how to do it.

Hopefully the month of September will go well. It will be different, that's for sure. It's not every day that I decide to test myself in the form of a hopeful life change. And hopefully when September is over and I go back to having a t-bone every once in while and a couple more beers here and there, I will have some new healthy habits that my body craves that I can incorporate into the current way that I'm living.

That's balance, my friends.

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THE DEFINITION OF AWESOME

This, my friends, is what totally awesome means.

And it's on Craigslist if anyone feels so inclined to buy it for me. Only $3900!! Now that's a steal!

Flying Monkey + Bullet Boys = Happy Earl

Ok, so couple years ago when I lived in K.C., April worked with a lady whose husband was a brewer. In fact, he owned his own brewery call Flying Monkey Brewery. It's tasty beer! Anyway, we found out that his brewery was really close to our apartment in Olathe and that he gave tours every second Saturday of the month. So, come the second Saturday of the particular month in which this story is being told, April and I decide to give this little beer factory a whirl and hopefully get a couple cold, tasty one's to kick off the weekend.

We finally find this modest little warehouse around 11am and walk up to the door ready to introduce ourselves as "The Girl Who Works With Your Wife and her boyfriend". I open the door to a surprisingly well furnished tasting room, see a guy with mullet-ish ponytail down his back, listening to very loud 80's rock, and slinging beers to everyone walking within a five foot radius of him. After April does the aforementioned intro, I comment, "You're listening to the Bullet Boys! Alright!". He follows by retorting, "Fuckin' A, Man! Not many people know the Bullet Boys! Wanna beer?"

Not many people are me...and yes, I would like a beer.

This fellow ends up being the owner of Flying Monkey Brewery. We obviously immediately make friends with him...given the swell taste in vintage 80's rock he prefers, and commence to sampling every beer on tap...several times.

Before we know it, every other customer has left, the doors are locked, we are blasting the sound system, and he is pouring us three beers at a time!

After some fantastic conversation, some loud, beer drinking music, and Jesus knows how many beers...it was 6pm. And time to go.

We exchange pleasantries, April and I "rock, paper, scissors-it" for who's driving, and off we go to Popeye's for some much needed grease to get a head start on curing our inevitable next-morning hangover.

Robert, owner of Flying Monkey...here's to you! A Weekly 80's Metal Video dedicated just to you. It's of course, Bullet Boys' "Smooth Up In Ya".

The video itself sucks. They're basically just playing in an abandoned warehouse with no chicks. With a name like "Smooth Up In Ya", you gotta have some chicks!

But a remarkable song nonetheless.

Enjoy, my friends.

Silver Lining, Light at the End, Look on the Bright Side, blah blah blah.

You know what? I talked to a buddy of mine tonight who just isn't haven't very good luck. I mean, the dude does everything he's supposed to do, and life just seems to take a shit on him every other day.

He's a devout Christian, plays life by the rules, and is one of the best guys I know. But it seems like shit is always happening to him. He's getting laid off, totally his car (sooo not his fault), getting screwed on student loans, family illnesses and deaths, etc, etc, etc. This has been going on for as long as I've known him. (dude, sorry if by chance you're reading this...it gets better though!)

As much as life is taking a dump on my buddy, he continues to do his thing. He still goes to church, still fixes whatever went wrong, and after a much needed venting session to me (which I am totally happy to oblige!) starts weeding out the bad and looking for the good. This guy's a character...and that's why we're still friends. Because I know of no one else who could be so scoured with terrible luck and continue to dig for the positive. Me? I would've drank myself into a liver-less way of living by now. But this dude keeps on chugging.

And then I start thinking.

I'm not a religious man. Spiritual? Quite. But my buddy's faith and his mindset keep him focused on the good. Sure, he gets pissed and down and discouraged. Everyone does. But he's the classic example of picking yourself up and dusting yourself off. Cliche' but true.

I continue to be amazed by the tenacity of this guy. He is hellbent to graduate college at 40 something, and as he puts it, "live like a grown up." And he still has a couple years to go.

Back to the religion part of my ramble. Dangerous territory, I know. I understand faith. I have faith. In what? That's a different ramble. But this guy's faith has essentially kept him going. Anyone...even a religious sort, could easily get discouraged by constant terrible luck and start to lose faith, ambition, and will. And I'm sure it chips away at him from time to time. But to keep after it, day in and day out, is very admirable to me. His faith and confidence in a higher being has given him more ambition and will than most anyone else that I know. And that's enlightening.

The cool thing is, things are going to turn around for him. He's going to fight through the adversity and win. Whether you believe in God, karma, or both, you just gotta keep on trucking.

Hmm, I like that. I might have that printed on a shirt.

Thank You, Perch.

Yesterday was Sunday, therefore it was the day that we have Sunday dinner. It's a tradition that we've borrowed from my cousins just recently, and is proving to be a nice finish to the weekend.

After a fine Mexican feast, I decided to take my 4 year old nephew, Alden to the neighborhood lake for a little fishing. He's been dying for me to take him for a while and it seemed like the perfect evening for it. So I loaded up my spinning rod and a couple fly rods and we headed to the water.

It didn't take long for the little bluegill in the pond to start inhaling the corn I had threaded on his hook, and on the second cast his bobber went down and we had a fish.

Now, I've seen Alden excited before. Like when the Transformers movie came out, or when he opened his Christmas present and discovered Santa had brought him a Bat Cave fully equipped with a trap door. But I have never seen him, or anyone for that matter, as excited as when he caught that first fish. He jumped up and down, clapped his hands, squealed like a little girl, and almost hyperventilated. This was genuine. And his excitement just kept escalating with every fish he reeled in. And he even wanted to take a break and watch me and his dad fish. And when we caught fish, he continued the elation.

It got me to thinking. I guess I started fishing around his age...3 or 4. I believe the first memory I have of fishing is when my dad took me to a little creek down the street from our house. It was cleverly called "the creek", and it held your garden variety of Midwest fish species. If I remember correctly, I believe that I dug up worms prior to the escapade, and red and white bobbers were used. But I remember catching a small mess (def: 5-8 fish)of bluegill and taking them home to fry up in the skillet. Bluegill, and bluegill related panfish have always been called perch where I'm from, which is very incorrect. Regardless, they served as a springboard for what I love doing more than anything...yes, fishing. That particular fishing hole was dubbed "The Laughing Spot" from that day on. And also from that day on, I was hooked...for lack of a better term.

I'm not sure why I love fishing so much. I'm not sure why Alden loves fishing so much. It's a tough activity to dissect. I've read books and magazine articles on why fishing is such a beloved pastime, and while the authors always seem to come up with a few good reasons, they can never really pinpoint why we love it so much. Obviously, there's the seclusion, the closeness with nature, the sport of angling, the art of angling, the science of angling. Or maybe it's a combination of all the above-mentioned along with the physical feeling you get when casting, reeling, hooking, and fighting a fish. I don't know if any fisherman knows exactly why they love it, they just do.

What started at "The Laughing Spot" has turned into a love for the sport, and the outdoors in general. I have fished in bass tournaments and guided fly fishing trips. I have fished lakes, creeks, oceans, rivers, and ponds. I have caught fish two inches long (with Alden Sunday night) and I have caught fish 40 inches long.

After seeing such genuine excitement and enthralment the other night from Alden, I can't help but hope that he gains the same love and appreciation for fishing that I did.

And it all started with a perch.

God bless the perch.