i am entirely too cynical.

My extraordinarily interesting life (he says sarcastically) has led me today to a musty hotel room with furniture from the late 70s (but with a microwave!), in the beautiful but weird City of Salt Lake. I am attending the Outdoor Retailer's Convention--or OR, as the cool kids call it.

OR is the time when everyone from the Outdoor Industry convenes in one place as vendors show off their updated wares to buyers. It's loud, obnoxious, stressful, claustrophobic, and exhausting...which doesn't really reflect the outdoor lifestyle that once attracted me to this business. Brands like Patagonia, Marmot, Columbia, and The North Face are seeing who has the biggest dick. Their show displays most certainly break the million dollar mark, and it's almost a game to see who can make the most noise and attract the most people. Granted, I'm not opposed to the tactic of giving away free beer to attract people--it worked on me.

It's "sell, sell, sell!!" nonstop. Selling products, selling lifestyles, selling your company, selling your word, and selling yourself. When you break it all down, it essentially has nothing to do with the outdoors, it has to do with dollars. It's just another industry. Sure, it's probably more fun than selling dog food or something, but it's just selling to make money.

Matt, you're a SALES REP. Yea, I know...

I couldn't help but think as I elbowed my way through thousands of people today, that I would like to start minimizing. I mean, there's so much stuff! Everyone is making everything for every occasion. This convention center was filled to the seams with stuff--just to make enjoying the outdoors more enjoyable? Yea, I guess to a point. But I'm getting so damn jaded with all the "this brand is better than this brand", "this product is better than this product", the mud-slinging, the egos, the bullshit, and excess. It's not what the outdoors are. In fact, it's the opposite.

The outdoors represents a step back. A step back from the egos, bullshit, and excess. It simplifies life in a backwards kind of way where you escape everyday conveniences and rely on basics. Today felt like REI, the New York Stock Exchange, and Vegas got thrown in a blender without a lid and this is what sprayed all over the ceiling.

My happy place today was envisioning a week-long float trip down the Buffalo River in Northern Arkansas that I'll hopefully get to make a reality in May (thanks for the invite, Jeffrey!).

It's a strange contrast. Loud, obnoxious, stressful, claustrophobic, and exhausting; mud-slinging, egos, bullshit, and excess--to try and help make someones outdoor experience more enjoyable. I suppose business is business--money is money. That's how it is. And I suppose I should be thankful that it's still an enjoyable (for the most part) industry to be in.

It'd be a lot cooler if someone would just pay me to be on the other end...camping alongside the Buffalo River, not worrying about selling stuff to people. An end user on payroll. Not a bad title.

That's what's on my brain.


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Perspective.

I've been stressed out lately. That doesn't happen all that often.

I grew up in an atmosphere where money wasn't taken for granted. Whenever something monetarily bad would happen, my folks would not let it crush them. They would find a way to pay the mortgage, keep the water on, and feed the family. Commissioned sales can be a very lucrative means to a living, and it can be empty and unforgiving.

When checks weren't being deposited on a regular basis, my folks would keep their chin up and with a sincere tone say, "It could be a lot worse."

It could. Cheesy, but we always had each other. We were extremely fortunate in the grand scheme of all things and scenarios. We had a roof over our heads, good eats on the table, and a tremendous relationship with each other. Not everyone can say that.

Now that I'm the one with the mortgage, the car payments, the insurance and taxes, I need to take a page from my parents and not let dollar signs stress me out. I have learned to adapt. When things are going well, and the dollars signs are a positive presence, I need to be better at appreciating. Appreciating the things that we tend to fall back on when times could be better--because they could be a lot worse.

From time to time I call my folks when I'm a little stressed--always about money, in some form--and they both deliver the same "pep talk". First, there's the tone in their voices that basically say, "Dude, you don't have it bad. WE'VE had it bad. So shut up." Then there's the empathetic ear--the understanding. Then finally the bluntness of, "Hey, at least no one's been in a wreck, or has cancer or something."

Eloquent? No. But poignant and true.

So I suppose when I get stressed out, I should be very thankful that it's over money. 'Cause it's just money.

That's called perspective.

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Big Winner.

I heard this saying once, "Think of what you would do if you won the lottery, then strive to do that for a living.", or something like that.

So I guess that means if you were to spend all of your winnings buying things, you should be a professional shopper or merchandiser. If you would travel to exotic places, then maybe you should work on a cruise ship. If you decided to put all the money in the bank and live off the interest, then you're super-boring and I don't want to talk about this with you.

What would I do? That's easy. I'd fish. Yep, as simple--and redneck--of an answer that it is, that's exactly what I would do. But it is actually much deeper than it sounds.

When I'm fishing, I am completely shut off from outside interference. I don't worry. I don't think about grown-up things like money, working, investing, mortgages, payments, insurance, and taxes. I don't dwell on my travel schedule, or worry about kids, or wonder how this or that will get done. I am on the water with one intention, yet still take time to appreciate my surroundings.

Sure, if I won the lottery I wouldn't have to worry about any of that stuff anyway. But I don't like playing with money, so why not hire people to while I go fish? Sounds like a plan to me.

But there's much more than just hook, line, and sinker. By fishing all the time, I would travel to all ends of the earth (except Asia--creeps me out) in search of great water. And by traveling, I would be able to sample a vast variety of local eateries and drinkeries--another one of my favorite things. I would probably meet a lot of new people, too. That's cool, I guess...as long as they're not douchey.

Basically, I want to live my life happily and worry-free. Like when I'm fishing.

Better go buy my Power Ball ticket.

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