Wednesday, June 24, 2009

f'ing early.

I just got up at 4am so I can be at work at 5:30am. I didn't even know 4am existed. Hope this coffee works. fuck.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Weekly 80's Metal Video

Ok, I figured it out. This is much cooler than clicking a link.

Anyways, this is Kix. Yes, a very imaginitive name. I used to like the band back in the day, though. This song in particular, "Cold Blood". These guys are no bullshit, denim and leather, not too much hairspray, straight forward rockers. Notice the hot chicks and the rocking displayed in this video.


Sunday, June 21, 2009


My day so far has been spectacular. I got some things done around the house on my day off, and now am enjoying some homemade green chili and margaritas. The Cardinals are beating the Royals, and I'm just happy as shit.

But it's not even 3 o'clock yet, and I tend to get antsy when I don't have to work. The Big Thompson is supposedly fishing very well, and it's not too far from my homestead here in Broomfield. But the problem is, I've drank half a pitcher of margaritas. Hmmm, do I stop drinking margaritas, start on the water, and load up my gear? Or do I stir up another pitcher of margaritas, turn on some tunes, and re-f'ing-lax? That's a toughy. I do have Tuesday off, but I think I'm supposed to do something Aprilish. Can't remember what, though. Might be able to hit the river then. Tuesday's are generally people-free on the river for the most part.

Ok, I just got up to take a leak and realized that the tequila had hit me harder than I had thought. So I texted April to see what I was supposed to do on Tuesday, thinking that would be a better idea to fish then. Looks like I have a goddamn meeting with the wedding DJ. What a jip.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Another Friday Night

Man, do I feel good. Got four and three quarters vodka tonics and seven crab cakes in my belly. Listening to The Faces. Bache'n it tonight. April's in Nebraska for her cousin's wedding, so I get to do as I please. And what I please is good music, a few cold, summertime cocktails, some delicious home cooking, eating to excess, and a Cards win over their I-70 rivals, the Kansas City Royals. It's a swell evening. I don't even mind getting up at 6am tomorrow for work, 'cause I'm quickly becoming lethargic due to the above mentioned belly intake.

Now the Kinks are on. Man, are they good.

I gotta tell ya, since my bachelor party last weekend I've had to take it easy. I ate salads for three days straight. No booze, except for a glass of wine last night. Oh, by the way...last night's dinner was rare steak, king crab legs, and braised asparagus. Holy shit. It does not get much better than that. And my pee's been stinking like balls because I've eaten asparagus three days in a row. I don't get it. I can take one bite of asparagus, set it down and go take a leak...and my pee smells like ass. It hauls through my system at the speed of light.

I'm feeling better now. That bachelor party was outta sight. I ate White Castles, ribs, fried taters, fried fish (freshly caught, at that), homemade pizza, b's and g's, shit on a shingle, hot dogs, brats, bologna salad sammiches, cabbage, and booze. As healthy as all that is, I didn't feel exceptionally good after the shindig.

Well, I've got to work tomorrow so I'm probably gonna hit the sack here in a minute. Got Sunday off, though. May go fishing, may fix shit up around here. Probably fishing. That lethargic, comatose feeling is starting to take over. Time for bed.

To a fantastic evening! I hope my heart doesn't stop tonight. That's unlikely because of my alcohol-related thin blood.


Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Weekly 80's Metal Video

Yea, I know. I missed a week. But now you get to watch TWO extremely awesome 80's metal videos!

First, we're going to play "Breaking the Chains" by Dokken. Probably the worst video every produced. Surely an inspiration for Spinal Tap, this video is ridiculously hilarious. From the chains as guitar strings, to the "girlfriend" echoing Don Dokken's heartfelt lyrics. The crux of this masterpiece has to be when they are all chained up, and one by one they break free with the power of rock!

Enjoy, my friends.

Ok, now this next one is quite possibly the best video ever made. I don't necessarily consider Van Halen 80's hair metal, although the entire genre' was pretty much instigated by them.

This is "Hot For Teacher". It's how a video should be. Forget Thriller, November Rain, or Like a Prayer. This video is funny, yet it rocks.

I don't feel tardy.

bachelor party

Well, I just returned from my bachelor party. It was fantastic. I got to see all of my buddies, drink ridiculous amounts of beer, eat food that made my heart stop three or four times, and fish. For me, that's a party.

I am just not the strip bar type of guy. I can't really get into Vegas, or nightclubs, or anything at all that involves cheating on my fiance'. I am content with sitting around, preferably outside, listening to some good music, and bullshitting with my pals. If a campfire is nearby, it makes it that much better. And it was. Along with a lake, a boat, a dock, some trees, no cover charge, and no one there that I didn't like.

The group included my groomsmen: Kevin, who is my best friend from birth; My cousin Robert, who I grew up admiring; Bryan, great friend since 1st grade; Vinnie, who I've gotten in more trouble with than anyone; and my sister Katie, who is a fantastic friend and who also arranged the majority of said shindig. Also present was my dad, cousin Stevie, my buddies Jamey, Jason, and Jeff, Katie's boyfriend John, my future brother-in-law Victor, and my second father Larry (Kevin's dad). Everyone there was a dear friend and the party would have lacked if any one of them wouldn't have been there.

The process since yesterday has been trying to cleanse and get back to normal. That entails water, vegetables, vitamins, and excercise. Oh, and not drinking for at least 72 hours.

The process was a bit delayed due to a bumpy, four hour car ride quickly followed by an even bumpier, two hour airplane ride. Two days after the shenanigans I am still feeling the effects. That's the way it should be.

It was a great trip. And although I love fishing, drinking, and hanging out with my crew...I missed my almost-wife, April.

Insert fake vomiting now.

Saturday, June 6, 2009


I'm not an extremely competitive guy. I mean, I played sports when I was a kid and was ok, but never got that agro-competitive attitude that all the meatheads and jocks had that turned them into dicks.

I like to watch football, but I don't get that "into" it. I dig the Rams, Steelers, and sometimes the Chiefs, but don't really follow any particular team. If one of those teams were to make it to the Super Bowl, cool. I'll watch.

I'm not a basketball guy much at all. I'll watch the Final Four stuff sometimes if I have money on it, but sometimes not even then. This year was the first year that I've watched the NBA Playoffs since it was Orlando vs. Houston back in the 90's. Shaq vs. Hakeem...can't spell his last name. I liked Drexler...Clyde the Glide. Kind of reminded me of my favorite baseball player, Willie McGee. Just not as ugly.

Baseball is where my sports nerdiness comes into play. I am an enormous St. Louis Cardinals fan. I try to catch every game and follow everything that happens with them. I'm not to the point of joining chat forums to debate with other nerds or playing fantasy baseball...that's just sad. I'm just a big Cards fan.

I get pissed when the Cards lose. It actually effects my attitude if they lose. Or if someone gets hurt. Or if they don't trade for a good, needed player. That's about the extent of my nerdiness-bad, but not that bad.

Right now, the Cardinals are on a losing streak. There are rumors that they are going to make one or more blockbuster trades to acquire some offense. So being the nerd that I am, I've been glued to the websites in hopes that said trade will happen soon. Apparently whoever we get, if anyone, will be the end-all savior for our team and we will cruise into a World Series win. I'm sure that's how it will pan out.

I just get to laughing at myself. I like sports, but in the end really don't care who wins or loses. It's just a nice excuse to relax and have a couple drinks while forgetting about any problems or bad days. Except for the Cardinals. I am inherently a die-hard Cards fan who, if they lose, don't have as good of a day as if they were to win.

And my day isn't that great if the Cubs win either.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

have a drink on me.

I love drinking.

I enjoy beer, vodka, and scotch. I'm honestly not sure if scotch is capitalized or not, and I'm too lazy to Google it. If I were to check my liquor cabinet, it wouldn't help because every letter is capitalized on "SCOTCH". Anyway, I like it, capitalized or not.

The beer I used to drink as a young'n obviously started out as "low grade". Other than the Budweiser my dad gave me a sip of when I was eight, I believe Stag was the first beer I actually drank in some quantity. Being somewhat of a St. Louis thing, my cousin would bring cases of Stag to our hometown of Springfield from StL when visiting my folks as sort of a novelty. My cousin and folks enjoyed a bit of a laugh and cracked open a couple cold, gold cans. But then quickly became serious and switched to glasses of gin and left the Stag out for the vultures. The vultures being 14 year old me and my buddies. At the time, it was glorious.

Later on in our teenage years (and by "our", I mean me, Vinnie, Kev, Bryan, and a slew of random beer drinking high schooler's), we graduated to Busch and Busch Light...I guess because it was cheap. That's all I can come up with.

Of course Coors Light, Miller Lite, Bud Light, Budweiser, Natural Light, Keystone, etc. were all present during any and all gatherings as well.

When I got a little older, Vinnie and I started enjoying Whiskey. Not filling a shot glass up with warm, cheap Whiskey and shooting until we puked...but actually enjoying it. We would fill a rocks glass with ice and pour Canadian Club over it. And it tasted good! We went from Canadian Club, to Mist, to Crown...and then to Scotch (I'm going to capitalize it in this instance). I believe Dewer's was the first enjoyable Scotch that I had. And since, I've sampled a thousand single malts and blends...and appreciate them all. But my go-to Scotch to this day is good ole' Johnny Walker. Be it the Red, Black, or "thank you God" Green, I love it! If I'm lucky enough to taste the Gold or even the Blue, I'm usually grinning. But you know...that's just too much damn money. $250 for a bottle of Blue? C'mon? Yea, I've had it. Yea, a few times. Yea, it's good. Not $250 good, though. I'd rather have eight bottles of Red for the same price.

My beer tastes have thankfully changed over the years. I've graduated from the "big three" and have broadened my horizons. I remember the first house "party" I went to when I first moved from Springfield to Kansas City. It was BYOB, so I grabbed a 12er of Bud Light. When I got there, the fridge was filled with New Castle, Boulevard, Fat Tire, and so on. I was made fun of and had to quickly come up with the excuse that it was my roommate's beer that I had swiped. That was the last time I would let that happen. I had to try all of these beers for myself...and I did. They were delicious!

I now can proudly say that I love beer...without only having on my resume' the "big three". My taste buds yelp for O'Dell's 90 Schilling and 5 Barrel Pale Ale, Boulder Beer's Hazed and Infused, New Belgium's Fat Tire, Rouge's Dead Guy, and Deschutes Brewery's Black Butte Porter...among hundreds more. Mmmmm. I tell ya though, I still love a tall, cold Budweiser while listening to a Cardinals game. And I've been known to enjoy a golden can of Coors Banquet while up in the mountains or watching "Smokey and the Bandit".

As far as vodka goes...the cheaper the better. I'm more concerned with the tonic. It's gotta be Schwepp's Diet Tonic. If you say that you like Skyy or Grey Goose doused in tonic water and lime, then you're stupid. You do the Pepsi Challenge with Skyy and Gordon's...I guarantee it's 50/50. Anyways......

Well, it's time to concentrate on drinking now, not writing about drinking. I'm enjoying a can of Fat Tire right now. Yep, a can. Makes a ton of sense, especially for backpackers, tailgaters, fishermen...whoever. Cans are so much easier to pack out from a party, camping trip, river trek, poolside afternoon...and easier to recycle. My good friend Matt at New Belgium in Ft. Collins hooked me up with both Fat Tire and Sunshine Wheat in the can form. Check em out: Thanks Matt.

So please, whether it's beer, wine, scotch, whiskey...please take pride in what you are drinking. Taste it, breathe it, close your eyes and savor it.

Or at least pour it down your throat like a breaking dam until it froths out of your nose and forces you to vomit uncontrollably in the passenger seat of your buddy's T-Bird.

Either way, I'm good.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

80's Metal Is Cooler Than You.

Ok, so 80's metal is fucking cool.

That's a statement that a smart, young, tasteful gentleman would not make. Nobody will admit that they enjoy it, though they do. How can one not? Unless they are boring, pretentious, uptight, serious, sad, angry, sober, religious, or not white.

It's not a type of music that you generally critique, it's just laughed at and passed over. It's not necessarily groundbreaking, influential or timeless, according to those who judge. It doesn't tackle serious, deep or artistic topics. Unless you consider drinking and girls serious, deep, or artistic.

Music surrounding 80's metal was considered smart and tasteful. Groundbreaking classic rock like the Beatles, Stones, Dylan and Zeppelin. And afterwards you had Pearl Jam, REM, and Nirvana. Music critics and coffee shop loiterers scoff at the fun, brainless, party music. But my friends, they are incorrect. Shadowed by a style of the times, the music was actually much more complex than displayed today, but rarely received credit. The lyrics, though, are another story. As are the videos.

Pelvic thrusts, spandex, licked fingers, Aquanet, eye liner, glass shattering high notes, tongue-out guitar solos, denim & leather, scantilly-clad groupies, drinking, drugs, and fast cars.

That's where this comes in...a weekly video post. Each week (if I can remember), I am going to post a sweet-ass 80's rock video. It's going to be from YouTube because that's the only way I know how to do it. But rest assured, it will be a song that will make you play air guitar, pump your fist in the air, and start drinking beer alone.

So, without further ado, here's video number one...please forget about being serious, please do not critique, and please do the "surprised guitar face" in the mirror. You know what I'm talking about.

The first one you're gonna watch is "Shake Me" by Cinderella. Now, I was never an enormous fan of Cinderella, but I did like this song. It's got some classic 80's metal cliche's that are phenomenal. Plus, it's got a little humor in the video, which was also an 80's metal video staple first started by Twisted Sister and Van Halen, I would guess.