Mountain Dan.

Well, it's the day after Christmas and I've been doing a lot of thinking. That's what I do. I've seen more negativity this year than I can remember seeing in years past, which is unfortunate. In my last post I described a little about how I view and appreciate the holidays, and there has been so much this year that has tried to take that away from me, in a spiritual sense, because that is what makes Christmas so special...the spirit.

Yes, I work in retail. I have for some time now, but not necessarily in an environment like the one I'm currently in. Up until the job I'm at now, I worked in an outdoor atmosphere. Sure, we sold nice apparel and had to deal with some of the craziness that accompanies the holidays in the retail world. But the joint I'm at now is very similar to working in a mall store. Yes, we do carry some outdoor gear, but it gets completely ignored at Christmas and the coats with the gigantic logos are what put people in a buying frenzy.

And needless to say, working in the type of place that I'm at now is souring my taste for the holidays. Because I witness just how bad people can be. I live with the consumption, the selfishness, the excess, the impatience, the loudness, the rudeness, the crowds...all on a daily basis.

And yes, that is what I signed up for. By working in the retail industry, I have forfeited my Christmases for the most part.

I have colleagues that it doesn't affect as much. They power through it. They are able to keep a smile and accept it as part of their job. I can, to a point, mainly because I understand that it's my job and how I pay my bills. But it still chips away at me about as much as hearing "Little Drummer Boy" 27 times a day. So I've decided to change it.

I understand that throughout life we have to do things that we don't like. That's part of it. But the way I see it, if you can change those things that you don't like, why not change them then?

So I have decided that I am going to change my Christmas traditions. It may not happen next year or the year after that, but it will happen. You see, changing my holiday traditions immediately just to satisfy myself is quite selfish, and thus one of the characteristics that I'm wanting to avoid. So it is going to take cooperation and compromises.

What I would like:

First and foremost, I am going to need a minimum of three days off; the 24th, 25th, and 26th of December.

Secondly, Christmas needs to be big. It's a festival, so we should treat it like one. Music, lights, fantastic food and drink, comradary, and fun. It seems to me like by the time Christmas day finally rolls around, everyone's too worn out to really enjoy it the way it should be enjoyed. Surely due to all the scrambling to buy-buy-buy, dealing with the ridiculous crowds of fair amounts of mean people, and the mental breakdown of finding that "perfect" gift for that special someone (which is probably just a fucking jacket from The North Face anyway). So early preparation is of the essence.

As far as a location goes, I think that in my case I would prefer renting a large cabin in the mountains away from humans. That way, everyone is sharing the cooking, the preparation, decoration, and the clean up. The ones that end up hosting Christmas at their house are always the ones that become exhausted first. A neutral location helps divvy out the responsibilities.

I also like the options of activities surrounding a mountain cabin that do not include watching television. I'm sure tv will be available, and that's cool. But activities such as snowshoeing, sledding, hot tubbing, innertubing...they offer different options, especially for the kids.

Presents are a part of Christmas, like it or not. But from witnessing the madness that goes along with buying that perfect piece of crap for someone, I'd like to reevaluate how presents are exchanged. There need to be parameters. I don't know exactly what those parameters are at the moment, but it needs to include the number of gifts, lack of returnability, creativity, and thoughtfulness.

I remember getting Star Wars action figures, He-Man, G.I. Joe's, Hot Wheels, and Super Heros when I was a young'n, and it was utopia. Kids need that, along with fishing poles, binoculars, and bee-bee guns. It accelerates the imagination. But we don't need overkill. We need to relax on the excess.

Lastly, I would like the adult's presents to include helping out with transporting the other adults to said mountain location in as hassle free of a manner possible. Other presents should include pitching in on renting the cabin, food, drink...and if we insist on exchanging presents between adults, see above parameters that need to be established.

I'm not bitching--I got some cool shit this year. Ate some great food. But it was crammed into one day, and during that one day I was exhausted, as I'm sure some of my other co-Christmasers were. Early preparation, avoiding the madness, and getting away together is how I'd like to outline my holiday.

And once again, from an earlier post, church is fine. It makes me feel good, but it's not necessary for me. But it is to some. The compromise could be finding a cabin within short driving distance to a small church in the mountains. That would be nice. And there would be no swerving to avoid car crashes with Christmas Eve Denver drunks.

It would be like a Smokey Mountain Christmas starring Dolly Parton and Lee Majors. Lee Majors plays the role of "Mountain Dan". I don't want to ruin it for you, but "Mountain Dan" turns out to be a nice guy. And I think he gets on Dolly.



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