A Type A personality is described as a business-like, aggressive, controlling workaholic. Basically an asshole.
A Type B personality is the polar opposite. Easy going, relaxed, "whatever" types.
I am neither. Or quite possibly, lots of both.
I am not a workaholic, in the dramatized sense of staying late at the office, burning the midnight oil. I suppose you could classify me as a workaholic, though, seeing as how I am constantly trying to find a way to enjoy my profession...which hasn't happened yet. Controlling? Aggressive? Nah, not really. Asshole? Probably.
One main characteristic that I do share with these Type A jerks, is that I stress entirely too much over my job. It's really not that I care about it that much, or I strive to be the best so much that my ulcer starts bulging. It's that I dislike it (and every other job) so much that my left eye starts twitching, I grow a pain in my side right under my rib cage, and my chest becomes extremely tight.
That's my Type A bit.
In order to correct--or counter-balance my Type A tendencies, I immediately go Type B, to the point to where it probably hinders me.
There is no happy medium. If I become too stressed out over work, or the frustrations that lie within, I can't just "not let them get to me" in a grown-up, adult, professional manner. No, I have to say "fuck it, man"--sometimes aloud at work--and let any ounce of maturity that I've ever gained go straight down the shitter. It's either, or.
That's been my struggle. I get to the point of unhappiness with my career that I allow it to effect me physically--then I throw in the towel and don't give a fuck to cure it. It's kind of the two extremes of both Types of personalities.
I dwell, and I dwell, and I dwell. I am constantly unsatisfied, and want something different, something more, something now. There is no sense of patience--a trait of Type A-ers. But then I get to my boiling point...
That's when immaturity rears its ugly head. It's kind of cool, though. It's a little embarrassing at times--saying 'fuck it' to most everything and acting like I did in high school. But it's also liberating. It's nice to have that release. More times than not, I wish it lasted longer.
If I could choose one of my extreme personality traits, it would probably be the B. Mainly for health reasons. Of course, I would basically be a couch-draped hippie. But I suppose that beats a near heart attack on a weekly basis caused by stupid shit that revolves around selling coats and the jack-offs that surround that world.
The answer is simple, but acting on that answer is not. Do what makes you happy. Sounds great on paper, but it's not an easy feat to perfect. If I did what makes me happy, I'd probably be a bum, 'cause I don't want to work. At least not a "job".
I want to travel, experience, explore, taste, teach, and learn. Nine-to-fives do not interest me. That's where my stress comes in to play. Trying dearly to figure that puzzle out.
The older I get, the more stressed this makes me. Frankly, because my time is quickly getting measured. My time with friends, family, and hopefully kiddos one day. I don't want to be an angry, disgruntled coat salesman. I want to be utterly pleased and content with my career and the direction it's going. I want it to be meaningful, and gratifying. Selling coats to dickheads is not.
Hopefully I'll be able to figure this $47,000 question out for myself sooner rather than later. It's probably something that doesn't affect too many of you out there--I seem to be in the minority when it comes to making it one's life-long mission to find the perfect profession. I hope it's possible. I hope I'm not fucked.
But that's my personality, I guess. Type F.
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