Sunday Ramble.

Does anyone else feel pressured to fit as much enjoyment into their short lives as I do? It's not a philosophical type of question--not meant to be deep or anything. It's just how I think.

In the grand scheme of things, we as humans live somewhat short lives. We're going to die. Maybe sooner, maybe later. Who knows? And I don't care how religious, how spiritual, how all-knowing you think you may be--you don't know where we're going to end up. No one does. Do we get a second chance at life? Hard to say. Really, really hard to say.

So, without turning that corner to the deep end, I'd like to keep this conversation in the ballpark of "here and now", not "afterlife" or any of that stuff. Although that can be an interesting conversation...

The hard, morbid truth is that I could keel over in three seconds. What, with all the stress of a low paying, rarely rewarding, overly stressful job accompanied by food and drink that the FDA generally frowns upon--there's probably a decent chance of it. Or, I could live to be a frikkin' hundred. But you can't count on a hundred. That's just being foolish. So, we have to take advantage of this short time while on this Earth we know. And that ain't easy--especially for me.

I am not one to, nor have I ever been one to, have the majority of my life scaled out. From a young age I have jumped from one thing to another, trying to solidify and streamline my interests and create a smart and simple recipe for making a living. It has not worked...at all. I've never had a clear vision of what it is that I want to do for a living. So, that in itself makes it tough to incorporate all the extracurricular activities that I'd like to accomplish by life's end.

There are so many directions that you can go. It's tough to figure out which one to take.

There's obviously the side of me that has tried to incorporate passions and employment. It's been very bittersweet. It tends to dampen your interests a bit, when you have to do it. If I have to do something, then it fails to be a passion or interest. I'll do those on my own watch. But on the other side of the coin, it has opened up some fun doors as far as networks, knowledge, and experiences. It's time to move on, though.

Then there's the side of me that thinks going back to school might be the best answer. I'm more willing to learn now, I could use the credentials, and it would help secure a more permanent career. Once I've graduated and am on cruise control, let's say being a teacher, then I'm locked in with an okay salary and benefits--plus I've got my summers off to ramble. That's one train of thought.

And the side that I'm always battling is the side that wants to find a way to split. I'm not talking leaving my wife or anything. Just downsizing and leaving. Getting rid of the house, the car, the anchors. Responsibly freeing up time, while keeping a modest travel fund, and roaming the world until I run out of money or ambition.

Thing is, my jobs have never dictated what I do or who I am. I've had so many that I don't even remember half of them. I'm not a "DOCTOR" or an "ASTRONAUT". I'm just some dude named Matt who tries to make an honest living doing whatever so I can swing some living on the side.

I'd like to be able to swing a little more living, though.


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