With Dokken Day quickly upon us, I have been diligently prepping my pipes, stretching my hamstrings, and polishing up my playlists. It will be a momentous occasion. And the timing couldn't be better for rock.
In a few of my recent posts I've expressed how the retail industry at holiday time has slowly chewed away at my soul. It has exposed me to people that I don't care to ever cross paths with again. People who yell and curse like spoiled children if they don't get their way; if they don't get their jacket. It has not only continued into the second week of January, but has actually progressed.
Lately, I have walked a fine line between keeping my mouth shut and accommodating this hellish beast...and losing all regard for maturity and planting my index finger firmly into the beast's chest while lashing out verbally at this creature to the likes I'm sure it has never witnessed before. Luckily, for my mortgage's sake, I've been able to balance toward the former.
I have recently gotten help, though. Help in the form of music.
As medication to fight this retail disease that is the customer, I have dabbled in classic jazz and various acoustic music to sooth my mind and lower my blood pressure. This disease has somehow powered it's way through my jazz-cooled mindset and forced my blood to boil again. I have tried a completely different drug in punk rock, but have experienced the opposite effect of putting me in a frame of mind that is detrimental to my job.
So with Dokken Day on the horizon, I have been compiling playlists on my iPod that put my mind at ease and make me want to get drunk.
Yes, that's what 80s Metal does. It makes you want to get drunk. And when I want to get drunk, I'm usually pretty calm and in a good mood, have a tune in my head, whistling perhaps. This is proving to translate well when dealing with assholes. I've got the "fuck you" mentality going, but with 80s metal it's a much cooler vibe than with punk. Punk makes me cross that fine line we discussed earlier. 80s metal helps me deal with shit in a "whatever" frame of mind and in a good mood.
The result is lower blood pressure and stress levels, being in a good mood which in turn reflects well on my employees and customers, and having a tune in my head that makes me laugh because it's so ridiculously great.
80s metal is so bad it's good.
So let us get an early jump on the Dokken Day celebrations with a song that makes us all want to get drunk.
Enjoy, my friends.
.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Friday, January 8, 2010
"Do more shit you will, hmmm?"
Today marks a new year. Not for America or the Earf, but for me. Today is my New Year.
On real New Year's, I never make resolutions or swear to stop doing this or swear to start doing that. In fact, I do not like New Year's. Something creepy and discomforting about it. But my birthday, now that's a different feel. It's when my mileage rolls over and I get a feeling of freshness, hope, determination, appreciation, and excitement.
I am 36 now. That's basically 40, which is fine. And age has never deterred me from doing what I want...it's just a number, right? But this year it's a little different. I don't necessarily feel like I'm running out of time to do certain things, I just feel like it is time to do certain things.
My personal feeling this year, my personal resolution, is to not be afraid of failure. I'm sure that there are a hundred old sayings out there by Ben Franklin or Teddy Roosevelt or Albert Einstein about "failing being the next step to success" or someshit, and that's cool. But this year it's the truth.
There are a lot of things that I want to do. A lot of ideas that I want to pursue to see what they might hold. And in the back of my mind, there is this little "something" holding me back a bit. Sometimes I break through that "something", but more times than not it holds me back. And more times than not, that "something" is me being afraid of failing. So I play it safe and don't even make an attempt.
So, during my thirty-sixth year on this planet I plan on being a failure.
I am really looking forward to the attempts, the roadblocks, the steps, the realizations, and the successes. There are going to be some transitions; some changes. There will always be balance. But most importantly, there will be the excitement of learning. Yea, it's cliche', but you don't know until you try.
When Yoda said, "Try not. Do or do not. There is no try.", it really made me think...
I totally see where he's coming from. When becoming a Jedi, there really isn't much room for failure. And I realize that is a great mindset to have no matter who you are. But in an everyday Earthling's life, when we decide to embark on a new career, or attempt something that we've never tried before, there is definitely room for failure. And I think "failure" is a pretty harsh term...
I suppose it applies to things that you know for a fact you want to do. Like, for instance let's say I want to be a school teacher. It's been my life long dream to become a school teacher. My mom is a school teacher, my dad is a school teacher, all my brothers and sisters are school teachers, I know that I want to be a school teacher...but I have all this college to go through and I have to work while I'm going to college and I just don't know if it'll ever happen! Well, that's when you have to listen to Yoda. No try. Do. And if you don't listen to Yoda and you give up, then you have failed.
But let's say that I want to open my own business. I don't know exactly what it is that I want to do, but I've got a great business sense, fantastic ideas, funding for start up, and the intelligence and ambition to succeed. So I think about opening my own store. I dig into it deeply and find out that the cons are starting to outweigh the pros, and that this idea probably isn't the right move for me. So I back away from it and re-evaluate. I don't really consider that a failure.
In the same vein, let's say I start up said store, run it for a couple years and eventually go belly-up. I tried, but it just didn't work. I made some mistakes, misread the market, didn't advertise myself well, whatever. That, I suppose could be classified as a failure. Or, you could just refer to it as a "learning experience", because essentially that's what it is. Yea, your business failed, but it could be the precursor to an enormously successful store on down the road. All the "bad" things that happened with your first store you apply to your new one--just do them the right way this time.
So, each "failure" is actually fuel. It's education. It's experience. It's balls. And it all gives you fuel for your next endeavor; fuel to succeed.
But what's success? Fuck, I don't know.
For the longest time, I wanted to be a fly fishing guide. I grew up fishing, became pretty good at it, and with my constant over thinking about doing what I love for a living, it made sense to be a fly fishing guide. So I cleared out a little path in my life that eventually led to becoming a fly fishing guide. Once I decided that was the direction I wanted to go, it took me about two years to finally get a taste of what it's like to get paid to take people fly fishing. I quickly learned that I didn't really care for it. So obviously, I didn't pursue it much farther.
I guess that I succeeded--or did I fail? I did what I had always talked about. Just because I don't live in a log cabin alongside the Henry's Fork, spending 300-plus days on the water with strangers doesn't mean I have failed at becoming a fly fishing guide, does it? I didn't try to do it, I did it. But after I did it, I realized that I didn't like it. I guess you could say that I "tried it", or maybe more accurately; tried it out. It depends on your definition of "try".
Now, if I were to set a personal goal of writing up a business plan to open my own shop instead of just opening my own shop, that would be a much more realistic goal. Setting short-term goals and achieving them...at least until you realize you've "tried" enough to know you if you're going to like it or not. But have you tried it long enough, or have you just quit?
Well? What is it, Yoda?
Bottom line is, do more shit. Don't be afraid of failing, or not trying hard enough. If you want to do something, do it. If you decide you don't want to do something, don't do it. Just don't do it based on fear. "Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering."
So, in a nutshell, that's not my New Year's resolution...it's my birthday promise. To do more shit. And not be scared.
"Try there is...sometimes. Always do, unless one does not like do. Then don't. If try, succeed you will, unless quit you do."
WTF, Yoda. WTF.
.
On real New Year's, I never make resolutions or swear to stop doing this or swear to start doing that. In fact, I do not like New Year's. Something creepy and discomforting about it. But my birthday, now that's a different feel. It's when my mileage rolls over and I get a feeling of freshness, hope, determination, appreciation, and excitement.
I am 36 now. That's basically 40, which is fine. And age has never deterred me from doing what I want...it's just a number, right? But this year it's a little different. I don't necessarily feel like I'm running out of time to do certain things, I just feel like it is time to do certain things.
My personal feeling this year, my personal resolution, is to not be afraid of failure. I'm sure that there are a hundred old sayings out there by Ben Franklin or Teddy Roosevelt or Albert Einstein about "failing being the next step to success" or someshit, and that's cool. But this year it's the truth.
There are a lot of things that I want to do. A lot of ideas that I want to pursue to see what they might hold. And in the back of my mind, there is this little "something" holding me back a bit. Sometimes I break through that "something", but more times than not it holds me back. And more times than not, that "something" is me being afraid of failing. So I play it safe and don't even make an attempt.
So, during my thirty-sixth year on this planet I plan on being a failure.
I am really looking forward to the attempts, the roadblocks, the steps, the realizations, and the successes. There are going to be some transitions; some changes. There will always be balance. But most importantly, there will be the excitement of learning. Yea, it's cliche', but you don't know until you try.
When Yoda said, "Try not. Do or do not. There is no try.", it really made me think...
I totally see where he's coming from. When becoming a Jedi, there really isn't much room for failure. And I realize that is a great mindset to have no matter who you are. But in an everyday Earthling's life, when we decide to embark on a new career, or attempt something that we've never tried before, there is definitely room for failure. And I think "failure" is a pretty harsh term...
I suppose it applies to things that you know for a fact you want to do. Like, for instance let's say I want to be a school teacher. It's been my life long dream to become a school teacher. My mom is a school teacher, my dad is a school teacher, all my brothers and sisters are school teachers, I know that I want to be a school teacher...but I have all this college to go through and I have to work while I'm going to college and I just don't know if it'll ever happen! Well, that's when you have to listen to Yoda. No try. Do. And if you don't listen to Yoda and you give up, then you have failed.
But let's say that I want to open my own business. I don't know exactly what it is that I want to do, but I've got a great business sense, fantastic ideas, funding for start up, and the intelligence and ambition to succeed. So I think about opening my own store. I dig into it deeply and find out that the cons are starting to outweigh the pros, and that this idea probably isn't the right move for me. So I back away from it and re-evaluate. I don't really consider that a failure.
In the same vein, let's say I start up said store, run it for a couple years and eventually go belly-up. I tried, but it just didn't work. I made some mistakes, misread the market, didn't advertise myself well, whatever. That, I suppose could be classified as a failure. Or, you could just refer to it as a "learning experience", because essentially that's what it is. Yea, your business failed, but it could be the precursor to an enormously successful store on down the road. All the "bad" things that happened with your first store you apply to your new one--just do them the right way this time.
So, each "failure" is actually fuel. It's education. It's experience. It's balls. And it all gives you fuel for your next endeavor; fuel to succeed.
But what's success? Fuck, I don't know.
For the longest time, I wanted to be a fly fishing guide. I grew up fishing, became pretty good at it, and with my constant over thinking about doing what I love for a living, it made sense to be a fly fishing guide. So I cleared out a little path in my life that eventually led to becoming a fly fishing guide. Once I decided that was the direction I wanted to go, it took me about two years to finally get a taste of what it's like to get paid to take people fly fishing. I quickly learned that I didn't really care for it. So obviously, I didn't pursue it much farther.
I guess that I succeeded--or did I fail? I did what I had always talked about. Just because I don't live in a log cabin alongside the Henry's Fork, spending 300-plus days on the water with strangers doesn't mean I have failed at becoming a fly fishing guide, does it? I didn't try to do it, I did it. But after I did it, I realized that I didn't like it. I guess you could say that I "tried it", or maybe more accurately; tried it out. It depends on your definition of "try".
Now, if I were to set a personal goal of writing up a business plan to open my own shop instead of just opening my own shop, that would be a much more realistic goal. Setting short-term goals and achieving them...at least until you realize you've "tried" enough to know you if you're going to like it or not. But have you tried it long enough, or have you just quit?
Well? What is it, Yoda?
Bottom line is, do more shit. Don't be afraid of failing, or not trying hard enough. If you want to do something, do it. If you decide you don't want to do something, don't do it. Just don't do it based on fear. "Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering."
So, in a nutshell, that's not my New Year's resolution...it's my birthday promise. To do more shit. And not be scared.
"Try there is...sometimes. Always do, unless one does not like do. Then don't. If try, succeed you will, unless quit you do."
WTF, Yoda. WTF.
.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Deletion followed by Cancer Rant
I decided to delete my last post about how I felt over the New Year.
One: It's boring. Who cares how I felt or what I did? If I were a new reader, and that was the first post that I read, I would judge the entire blog page based on that one post and would not continue to read any of the other posts. And that would be a shame, seeing as how I have so many other interesting thoughts........(insert sideways smiley face...perhaps winking).
Two: No offense to any other bloggers or writers or whatever you call yourselves, but if I wanted to know what you were doing or how you spent your NYE or if you are sick or well, I'd be on Twitter. I already ignore the Facebook as much as I can, due to the fact that I don't care about the above-mentioned. Basically, if I want to know how someone's doing, I'll ask them. But it doesn't entertain me, nor is it the type of thing I like writing about.
On to a much more serious thought.
I don't like cancer. It makes me angry. It makes me angry because it has fucked with way too many people that I know. Some beat it, some didn't, some are trying.
The most recent victim to be exposed to this horrid creature is a great friend of mine's mother. It's found her lungs somehow, even though she is not a smoker. The realistic part of this is, that another great friend of mine's mother just lost her battle with it a couple months ago. It just doesn't stop.
Everyone that I know has been affected by it in one way or another. Me personally, I lost an uncle and a cousin. Now my Granny has it. If she could, she'd kick that cancer in the ribs because she's very mad at it.
I have friends and relatives who are currently fighting it, refusing to give in. But it's got to take it's toll on you. You've got to just keep living through it and not let it take control.
Hmph. I'm talking like I know what it's like to have it. I have no idea. I don't know the mental anguish you must go through, the physical torment, what's it's like to face death, or what it's like after supposedly beating it. All I know is that it sucks.
My brother-in-law, Pat, lost his brother to cancer a year ago. It was difficult for me, and I didn't even know his brother. I can't fathom what Pat and his family went through.
My cousin, Robert, lost his wife to cancer a couple years before Pat's loss. I can fathom perhaps a fraction of what Robert went through.
But you know what? And maybe I'm overstepping my boundaries here because I have not gone through what many of you have gone through...but with the battles lost, maybe there is some good. Believe me, I'm not saying that cancer deaths are good--or that heartache, mental rollercoasters, seeing a dear one confined to a hospital bed, or someone you love being victimized by a mysterious, deadly disease that is gradually draining them is good. But if...and that's a big if...if everything happens for a reason, then maybe, just maybe it is a good thing to savor life after a loss. Or before, for that matter.
Maybe we should realize more often that life is fragile, but it is filled with infinite possibilities. I'm not talking about living it up "extreme" style or a "bucket list" or anything. No skinny skiing or going to bull fights on acid, just enjoying and appreciating things more; trying to get the most out of your time here; focusing on things that are important. I realize that's an awful large loss just to make one understand the joys of life; it doesn't really even out. But I still believe it's good. If one of my parents or wife or sister were suddenly gone because of cancer, I'm sure that I wouldn't immediately see the good in everything. But I know that after the smoke cleared, I would be trying to make the most of my time here. We should all probably be doing that regardless.
Cancer is weird. Obviously, I don't know much about it. But you'd think that with all the scientific advancements that we would be able to cure it. We can clone. We can go to Mars. We can send robots seven miles into the deepest canyons of the ocean. We can make electronics that are smarter than humans and smaller than your thumbnail. But we can't cure cancer.
Maybe cancer is more mysterious than we think. Maybe it happens for a reason. That's hard to imagine, but maybe it does. And if it doesn't, we need to find a reason within ourselves. A good reason. Because that's the only way you and I are going to be able to deal with the battles and the the losses, by trying as hard as we can to find some sort of good to come out of it.
.
One: It's boring. Who cares how I felt or what I did? If I were a new reader, and that was the first post that I read, I would judge the entire blog page based on that one post and would not continue to read any of the other posts. And that would be a shame, seeing as how I have so many other interesting thoughts........(insert sideways smiley face...perhaps winking).
Two: No offense to any other bloggers or writers or whatever you call yourselves, but if I wanted to know what you were doing or how you spent your NYE or if you are sick or well, I'd be on Twitter. I already ignore the Facebook as much as I can, due to the fact that I don't care about the above-mentioned. Basically, if I want to know how someone's doing, I'll ask them. But it doesn't entertain me, nor is it the type of thing I like writing about.
On to a much more serious thought.
I don't like cancer. It makes me angry. It makes me angry because it has fucked with way too many people that I know. Some beat it, some didn't, some are trying.
The most recent victim to be exposed to this horrid creature is a great friend of mine's mother. It's found her lungs somehow, even though she is not a smoker. The realistic part of this is, that another great friend of mine's mother just lost her battle with it a couple months ago. It just doesn't stop.
Everyone that I know has been affected by it in one way or another. Me personally, I lost an uncle and a cousin. Now my Granny has it. If she could, she'd kick that cancer in the ribs because she's very mad at it.
I have friends and relatives who are currently fighting it, refusing to give in. But it's got to take it's toll on you. You've got to just keep living through it and not let it take control.
Hmph. I'm talking like I know what it's like to have it. I have no idea. I don't know the mental anguish you must go through, the physical torment, what's it's like to face death, or what it's like after supposedly beating it. All I know is that it sucks.
My brother-in-law, Pat, lost his brother to cancer a year ago. It was difficult for me, and I didn't even know his brother. I can't fathom what Pat and his family went through.
My cousin, Robert, lost his wife to cancer a couple years before Pat's loss. I can fathom perhaps a fraction of what Robert went through.
But you know what? And maybe I'm overstepping my boundaries here because I have not gone through what many of you have gone through...but with the battles lost, maybe there is some good. Believe me, I'm not saying that cancer deaths are good--or that heartache, mental rollercoasters, seeing a dear one confined to a hospital bed, or someone you love being victimized by a mysterious, deadly disease that is gradually draining them is good. But if...and that's a big if...if everything happens for a reason, then maybe, just maybe it is a good thing to savor life after a loss. Or before, for that matter.
Maybe we should realize more often that life is fragile, but it is filled with infinite possibilities. I'm not talking about living it up "extreme" style or a "bucket list" or anything. No skinny skiing or going to bull fights on acid, just enjoying and appreciating things more; trying to get the most out of your time here; focusing on things that are important. I realize that's an awful large loss just to make one understand the joys of life; it doesn't really even out. But I still believe it's good. If one of my parents or wife or sister were suddenly gone because of cancer, I'm sure that I wouldn't immediately see the good in everything. But I know that after the smoke cleared, I would be trying to make the most of my time here. We should all probably be doing that regardless.
Cancer is weird. Obviously, I don't know much about it. But you'd think that with all the scientific advancements that we would be able to cure it. We can clone. We can go to Mars. We can send robots seven miles into the deepest canyons of the ocean. We can make electronics that are smarter than humans and smaller than your thumbnail. But we can't cure cancer.
Maybe cancer is more mysterious than we think. Maybe it happens for a reason. That's hard to imagine, but maybe it does. And if it doesn't, we need to find a reason within ourselves. A good reason. Because that's the only way you and I are going to be able to deal with the battles and the the losses, by trying as hard as we can to find some sort of good to come out of it.
.
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