Several things have been on my mind lately. In no particular order, they are:
Being a dad
There you have it. A deep look inside my mysterious brain. Let's address these topics, shall we?
Campfires make everything in this world right. They lead up to what is undoubtedly going to be a triumphant evening, and they put the stamp of approval on the end of a successful day. They welcome deep, mind-cleansing conversation that is honest and true. The yellow and blue tips of the flames mesmerize and relax, and when looking at them dance through the bottom of a whiskey glass, it erases all worries. Campfires are perfect with only two lawn chairs filled, both parties staring deeply at the burning timber while offering every thought that is on one another's minds. They are equally perfect with a half dozen tailgates dropped towards it, coolers of icy beer and good, loud music. They help celebrate a great day on the water, or make up for a bad day on the water. Campfires are best surrounded by stars, trees, and friends. But in a pinch, they will suffice burning in a store-bought firepit, on the patio of your subdivision home, with your dog at your side.
Being a dad
Not there quite yet. It's been a long time in the making, but one day I will be a dad, a pop, a father. I think I'll be decent at it. At the very least, they'll have a great mother.
I like my job.
That was not a typo. When you like your job, you tend to think about quite a bit. In a good way. As in, "how can I be better at my job?". This is a first for me, and it is taking some getting used to. I am apparently doing an adequate job, as I just got promoted. This again is a first for me. I am really out of my comfort zone here.
I will be in my 30s for another few weeks. Then I get old. But what better way to celebrate becoming old than acting as immaturely as possible? I'm sure these boundaries will be tested when I raise a toast to all my friends and family back in Missouri in a few weeks.
It is no joke that I have a newfound love (addiction?) for collecting old comic books. The art in these books has inspired my creativity up through my only successful college courses, and the stories and characters in these books keep me young.
I went to the comic shop today, actually. I didn't buy anything, but I discovered some books that I must have. They showcase the sketchbooks of some of my biggest heroes growing up. John Byrne, John Buscema, Todd McFarlane, and John Romita. Basically, if you're named 'John', you have a good chance of being a talented illustrator.
It's one thing to have these amazing, creative minds write the stories and draw the heroes for you to dream about when you're a kid...but to sit down a create something yourself is satisfaction tenfold. I have spent literally hours on end, uninterrupted, sketching and creating. I've sorely gotten away from my art. But my rekindling with comic books has me at least thinking about cleaning off my desk, sharpening my pencils, and seeing if still have anything left in me.
Some people get joy from staring deeply at a Van Gough or a Monet. I get the same feeling proudly displaying a Neal Adams or Jack Kirby.
I love Colorado. So much so, that I have planted fairly deep roots during my six years here. But I miss home...I miss my friends and family...I miss Missouri. But I have to look at it like I'm repotting a plant. You have to be very careful with a plant and its roots when transferring it to another home. If you're not, the plant may not make it.
Man, that's pretty stupid.
There was a time when I would get off work at 4pm, clock out, walk to my truck with my boat already connected to the hitch, go pick up my dad, and head to the lake. We would be on the water by 5pm, and usually had a keeper in the box by 5:15pm.
I am incredibly comfortable in and around boats. It is a craft that I should always own and never be without. It is the quintessential getaway. It exudes freedom.
A boat is in my future. It coincides with several things on my mind and listed here. Campfires; Being a dad; Being homesick, etc. It is not a luxury, it is a necessity.
I am not in good shape. Now, this thought is probably linked to "40" and "Being a dad" and other shit. But the bottom line is, I feel better when I'm in shape. Getting there is a different story. Sustaining it is an even bigger story. But if I am to be the 40something year old father of a child, and then a 50something year old father of a pre-teen, and a 60something year old father of a college-age kid, then fuck. There you go.
I'll start tomorrow.